RTDM: Fran Robertson

Fran Robertson
Designer and General Contractor
Raleigh, NC

We want to get to know you! Briefly tell us about yourself: Where you came from, where you've been and how you're living your dream?

I am a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, and a good friend. A proud southerner, I was born and raised in Raleigh, and reside here today. I am a woman owned, licensed general contractor with over 25 years of managing commercial design and construction projects. I am a supporter of the environment, and believe in humanity and equality.

How do you define success?

Happiness

What did it take to make your dream happen and when did you know you had arrived?

I'm not sure you ever realize you "have arrived". It's not like a game show where you have bells going off or a giant check handed to you. To answer the first part of your question… Awareness.

What are you most proud of? Go ahead, boast a little!

I am most proud of my 21 year old son. He is a senior at Elizabeth City State University majoring in Aviation Sciences while also teaching pilot courses. As he said to me recently, "it’s like I have a 40 hour a week job while being a full time student". He has realized that in order for him to be successful, he must be organized and manage his time. He is happy and living his dream!

What was your biggest obstacle/fear and what was your turning point?

At first, it wasn't what I wanted, but a longing sense of "this is not working". Defining "this", was a long, what seemed like a slow, and definitely, painful process. Looking back now it seems so simple. I guess having clarity, is how I know I have arrived.

What’s the best advice you’d give to a younger you?

Remove guilt. Guilt that others impose on you, and mostly, guilt you impose on yourself.

How do you stay motivated and purposeful when you feel overwhelmed?

I am a list maker. I love to write down daily tasks and mark them off when I complete them. But it all starts with an overall goal, and it is easy to lose sight especially when dealing with the daily details. So to be honest, every now and then I have to pause and "re-center".

Tell us a time when a perceived failure was actually a blessing in disguise or served you in a surprising way.

In one year I lost my step-father, dog and mentor. The following year, I separated from my husband and my mom and I stopped talking to each other. At the same time, I changed jobs 3 times and divorced. It was apparent to me what wasn't working, but I needed to stop imploding everything in order to provide some stability for my son and gain my sanity. OK, I can do this, right? Just stop screwing it all up. It was shortly after my realization to stand still, stand firm, (fake it, till you make it) that the Great Recession hit knocking me into unemployment. But wait! I didn't choose this! Now what? How do I find security and provide stability for my son? What does this look like, what does this feel like? How do I know? I remember my lover (who is now my husband) saying to me in a spat, that I was a very insecure person. Instead of taking offense, I just looked at him and said, "what do I have to be secure about?" Wow, that deflated the moment. I didn't even try to convince him he was wrong. Can I be that honest? Yes! That is exactly what security looks like. Now I am not afraid of stating what I need in my relationship(s) and in my work. And I am happy to say, that by doing so, I achieve my needs much more than not.

What is your favorite vice/guilty pleasure/strange habit? Come on now, we all have them!

I'm an obsessive organizer. I take comfort in knowing everything has a place and everything is in its place.

What's the smartest investment you’ve made for yourself?

Learning the difference in friendships, without judgement. There is a difference in the friends that would do anything for you and those that are good to see in social settings. Both are valuable, but it is important to understand the difference and invest effort in the friendship accordingly. That said, friendships are ever changing, or not.

What’s MOST important to you right now?

Taking time to enjoy family and friends, travel and nature, and great culinary experiences.

Share 1-2 books you've given as gifts:

Courage: The Joy of Living Dangerously & Freedom: The Courage to Be Yourself by Osho

What have you learned to say no to?

Things that I really, really don't want to do. I have found that I don't do favors well unless I have my heart into it.

What's something most people would never guess about you?

I like being alone. This is something that has changed as I got older, I used to hate being by myself.