RTDM: Kristi Wieland
Kristi Wieland Guthrie
Self-Employed
Dousman, Wisconsin
We want to get to know you! Briefly tell us about yourself: Where you came from, where you've been and how you're living your dream?
I am from Hartland, Wisconsin, where I grew up with both my parents and three older brothers. My mother was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease when I was around 8 years old. That set my course in life as being her primary caregiver. I finished high school and went to UW-Whitewater, which was an hour away from home. It was far enough for a true college experience, but close enough that I was able to keep a pulse on my mom’s health and progression. Due to my mother’s illness, I never moved away after school. I had the opportunity to enter into our family business, where I knew it was my only chance to establish a career as well as have the flexibility to take care of my mom in whatever capacity she needed. My dad and I made a promise to her to keep her home and never put her in a nursing home. It has taken all of us to make sure we held up to our promise.
How do you define success?
For me, success has been being able to carve out moments that are just for me and define myself outside of being a caregiver. It was critical to my mental health as well as personal development to travel the world as much as I could to expose myself to all the wonders and miracles around us. It’s easy to stay in a small safe little world, where you just go about your routine and do the same tasks each day, talk to the same customers, the same co-workers, etc. Because of being restricted on professional and personal levels due to my caregiving, I HAD to travel to give myself moments of adventure, growth, personal insight and life-long connections. Every adventure I go on, whether it’s close to home or far away, is a success for my heart, mind and soul.
What did it take to make your dream happen and how do you make it sustainable?
It’s easy to talk yourself out of an idea. “No one goes dog-sledding in Greenland. That’s just silly.” Or “It’s too expensive to do a culinary tour through Spain. You should put that money into savings.” “It’s too dangerous to try to learn to surf in Nicaragua.” I pushed through that fear and the nay sayers, learned to save the funds for once-in-a-lifetime adventures, and followed through with it. I have these amazing adventures dear to my heart. It fuels me for my next adventure and to face fears and see uncomfortable situations through. I make this sustainable by carefully tracking where my income goes. Splurge occasionally and let that travel fund grow!
What are you most proud of? Go ahead, boast a little!
There are three things that popped in my head immediately when I read this question. I am very proud of my travels, my Tribe of friends and how I have navigated through this intense journey as a caregiver/advocate for my mother. I was thrown into caregiving at a very young age and had to face tough situations and decisions younger than most people. In addition to Parkinson’s Disease, my mother also has a degenerative spine and has gone through 5 back surgeries as well as a hip replacement. The line of surgeries started while I was in high school and through college. I was the one to meet with the surgeon’s, discuss options, take mom the day of, sit in the waiting room for hours waiting for news, see her through recovery, psychotic episodes and allergic reactions and long months of rehabilitation, UTI’s, endless doctors and advocating at a very young age. Only I knew my mom’s baseline and her capabilities on a daily basis and I had to learn how to communicate that and fight for her when she was incapable of doing so. I learned how to manage all her medications, how to contact doctors, when to question doctors and mostly, I learned how to follow my gut instinct. Three times now doctors have told me to say my good-byes to my mother and I fought for her and she rebounded. Then there is my Tribe. My people. My amazing friends. I didn’t marry until I was 41 years old. Being single for most of my life, I was able to invest in friendships and I always believed you are who you surround yourself with. I invested in some of the best individuals a girl could surround herself with. My friends held me up through all of the twists and turns of being a caregiver and working in a family business. They helped me navigate through love, time and time again and helped me believe the right guy was out there for me. When I finally met Ryan, my now husband, I was just about to turn 39. He was absolutely worth the wait. I have my Tribe to thank for guiding me along the way.
What was your biggest obstacle/fear and what was your turning point?
I feared staying small. Coming from a small town, staying close to home, working with my family are all blessings, but I feared it would prevent me from growth, from opportunity and from investing in myself. I feared never expanding my wings. God planted the right people along my journey who became vital influences in my life and each time my wings spread a little wider. I learned to say YES to adventures and new situations, even if it made my throat tighten up and my anxiety to flutter. My first international trip was to Ireland in 1999. That was when the travel bug bit me. That was a turning point.
What’s the best advice you’d give to a younger you?
Start saying YES earlier. I allowed my mother’s illness to hold me back earlier in life. I was so afraid of losing her and missing out on precious moments. At the time there was so little known about Parkinson’s Disease, we all thought my mom’s life would be short. There was no way of knowing she would live to see 79 this year! Regardless……even if my mom’s life would have been shorter, I would tell younger me to still just GO. Say yes. Start to reach out to possibilities. Move to a different city for a year. Take a job downtown. I wouldn’t make these things long term. I’d look at them short term, but I’d do them and expose myself to so much more.
How do you stay motivated and purposeful when you feel overwhelmed?
My mother is one of the toughest, wittiest and most solid individuals I’ve ever known. She never feels sorry for herself and she would always say to me, “Kristi, there are so many more people in the world suffering more than me. Pray for them.” That taught me perception. When I’m overwhelmed, I step back, look at all the blessings I have, remember the strength of the woman who raised me, and I buckle down and face it. I have my friends and family to help me navigate and I have my Faith. Most importantly I am learning self-care. When I make self-care a priority, it helps me maintain my strength and focus to continue on.
Tell us a time when a perceived failure was actually a blessing in disguise or served you in a surprising way.
Oh gosh…..failures. Failed relationships, arguments with doctors, second guessing myself on medical decisions, customers upset about mistakes I’ve made, forgotten birthdays, strained family dynamics working together every single day. All of these things will humble you. If you allow the lessons (which sting in the moment) you learn from them and grow stronger. From these failures I learned insight which in turn taught me compassion. Understanding and compassion is how I connect with others and often become the foundation to building a strong friendship. Failures, all of them both big and small, WILL serve a higher purpose. It will help you dodge a repeat mistake. It will help you understand a friend and connect you with another soul. It will teach you about yourself and further growth. “Failure” doesn’t need to be negative. What if we called them “Stepping Stones”. Doesn’t that put it in a more accurate light?
What is your favorite vice/guilty pleasure/strange habit? Come on now, we all have them!
I love being surrounded by my dearest friends. I love talking about anything with my husband. I love a glass of wine. I love live music and dancing. I love a sunrise. I love my step-son’s belly laughter. I love a good book that’s impossible to put down. My strange habit is being completely OCD about how a dishwasher is loaded. It’s not normal!
What's the smartest investment you’ve made for yourself?
Therapy. There is such a stigma of shame that goes with seeing a therapist and I hope to help others see that therapy is wonderful and empowering. Mental health is vital to a healthy and happy life and it’s a shame more people don’t talk about it and acknowledge how hard it is to manage all of life’s chaos. I found a therapist who is the safety of a close girlfriend you tell everything to but has additional insight and ways of challenging me to rewire my thought processes that hold me back. I believe seeking a therapist and investing in my sessions has been the most powerful investment I have made in myself. I see it as self-love and self-care.
What’s MOST important to you right now?
The most important thing to me right now is my relationship with my husband and step-son. I cannot express how lucky I am to have found these two and how honored I am to call them my home. Next in line is the continuation of our family business and seeing through my promise to my mom to keep her home and safe. We just passed the 47 year mark for Wieland Engineering & Manufacturing Inc. and mom just hit 37 years with Parkinson’s Disease. All three of these are a marriage. It’s the ups and down, the hurt and joy, the failures and successes along the way and the need to forgive and to ask for forgiveness. The constant evolving, twisting and turning to improve, change, grow, invest and hang in there. My marriage, my business and my caregiving take all cylinders working in full order. It’s a lot right now, but this is when I push up my sleeve and dig in deeper.
Share 1-2 books that have impacted you the most:
I’m going to give you 3. “In the Meantime” by Iyanla Vanzant, “Conversations with God” by Neale Donald Walsh, and the “Outlander” series by Diana Gabaldan. Each are from different stages in my life, each vastly different from one another.
What have you learned to say no to?
Learning to say NO to others came late in life for me. I have learned to say NO even if I know I’m disappointing the other person. I’ve learned to say NO to things I really want to do, but know the timing is wrong. Hardest of all, I have learned to say NO when my gut tells me to, even if I can’t pinpoint the why behind my gut feeling.
What's something surprising about you?
I think the same that’s surprising about all of us. We keep getting back-up, even when we’re exhausted. Whether it’s getting kids out the door for school, nailing the presentation at work, or finding a moment to embrace time with your loved ones. Each morning we get up and we get at it again. Also, I love to cross-stitch!
Who is a Risk Taker Dream Maker(s) that has inspired you? Why?
Angela Pecoraro. College friend who always knew her destiny to be a CEO and kept reaching for it and succeeded at a young age. She is hilarious, intelligent, honest as honest can be, loving and someone I have looked up to for 20 plus years.
Follow Kristi:
Instagram: @broadsworddiva,
Linked in: Kristin Wieland Guthrie
Facebook: Kristi Wieland Guthrie
