RTDM: Michele Dudley
Michele Dudley
Founder/Executive Director Fashion & Compassion
Charlotte, NC
Briefly tell us about yourself: Where you came from, where you've been and how you're living your dream?
I was born and raised just outside Boston and graduated from the University of Southern California in Los Angeles. I've lived in Charlotte for 25 years and am extremely grateful for my husband and 4 children - having a wonderful family was certainly one of my dreams in my teens and twenties and I don't take it for granted. I'm grateful that I've had the opportunity to travel to 5 of 7 continents and meet people from all over the world. Being born in a middle class family in the US provides opportunities that many other people in the world do not have. I've met incredible women (and men) from around the world that have overcome hardships that I can't fathom. They are incredibly resilient and many dream of helping others overcome similar situations in their own lives. My dream is to help these courageous and inspirational women achieve their dreams and live their best life possible!
How do you define success?
Success for me is not about the "big" moments but is about the small successes each day that are required to continue moving forward toward your dream. When I see a woman gain confidence in a new skill that allows her to enlarge her vision for what is possible in her future - that is a HUGE win! Every day there are small steps that each of us must take to pursue our hopes and dreams - some feel bigger than others, but every step and every success encourages us to keep going and fighting for what's important. Each day there are obstacles that could easily discourage us and make us want to quit - I've had my share of these days! Overcoming such obstacles with determination to continue on while facing these challenges head on requires a daily dose of courage.
What did it take to make your dream happen and when did you know you had arrived?
This is a tricky question because I never had a dream to build an organization or start a non-profit. My dream has really been to come alongside and encourage women who are in the process of overcoming incredible obstacles achieve their dreams. I relish every one of their successes. Each success encourages me to keep going so that other women gain the same feeling of accomplishment and success.
What are you most proud of? Go ahead, boast a little!
As I started thinking about this question, many things actually came to mind - which I think is a good thing :-)
1. My family - I am grateful that my husband and I have a solid, yet imperfect marriage and I have 4 great, but imperfect kids that have amazing gifts and talents they are sharing with the world.
2. The achievements of the women we serve at Fashion & Compassion. Maybe I shouldn't claim their achievements as something I am personally proud of, but when they take a new step, score the first job they have had in decades, add months and years to their sobriety, find a new God-given purpose, build a supportive community, grow in their relationship God or choose to leave that abusive boyfriend, I am filled with incredible joy and am grateful that we've been able to come alongside women to support them while they make these life-altering decisions.
3. The Blessing School for the Visually Impaired - This is a small blind school in Rwanda. On my 2nd visit to Rwanda in 2009, I met a young Rwandan, Bosco, who was engaged to be married to the girl of his dreams. Shortly after they married, his new wife, Providence, became pregnant with triplets. Unfortunately, 2 of the 3 triplets died because of a premature birth but Hannah Blessing fought to live. Her eyes had not completed their development so she is completely blind. Through their pain, Bosco and Providence began to dream of starting a school for visually impaired children in Rwanda. They shared their dream with me and I encouraged them and supported them in starting the school. The school is now in its 4th year of operation and currently serves 21 blind students. I continue to support the school and I visit it once/year. I'm grateful to have had the opportunity to nurture, encourage and support this dream and witness lives being changed in the process!
4. Participation in the 2018 Dancing With the Stars of Charlotte for Carolina Breast Friends. This is one of the most fun experiences I have ever had! I learned to dance the Cha Cha and performed in a show with a professional dancer in front of 1,300 people! The judges gave me 3 perfect 10's for my performance and I came in 2nd overall in the show. I also raised over $50,000 to support women overcoming breast cancer in the Charlotte area in memory of my Aunt Louise who died of breast cancer when I was in college.
What was your biggest obstacle/fear and what was your turning point?
About 3 years after the launch of Fashion & Compassion, I came to the end of myself. Fashion & Compassion was largely dependent on me for success and I wanted it to be an organization that would outlive me to make a difference in the lives of women for decades to come. I was overwhelmed and overworked and trying to figure out how to oversee our sales, marketing, operations, jewelry design and production, manage international projects and partners and most importantly, make a transformational impact on the lives of women in the US and beyond. My turning point was when I chose to become vulnerable and share my struggle with trusted friends and advisors. These friends encouraged me in the vision that God gave me and helped me identify several people to come alongside me and Fashion & Compassion to structure the organization such that it will have long-term sustainability. We rebuilt our Board, hired an Operations Manager and focused on improving the programming thus improving the impact on the lives of the women we serve. While we still have a long way to go, I was able to take some extended time off this summer to spend with my aging parents and family which would not have been possible only a year ago.
What’s the best advice you’d give to a younger you?
Be who you are... I spent many years trying to be accepted by other people and live up to other people's standards and expectations of me. Since I began living out of my purpose as a mother and an encourager of women overcoming challenges, many of the superficial things and relationships that were once important to me, don't matter as much.
How do you stay motivated and purposeful when you feel overwhelmed?
When I feel overwhelmed, I first pray for peace and wisdom. Next, I write down what I need to do and begin to check things off my list. I also remind myself of recent Artisan achievements to keep the "why" of my work top of mind. Reflecting on Artisan achievements is a HUGE motivator because the obstacles they have overcome to achieve their goals are far more significant than what is causing me to feel overwhelmed. Perspective changes everything!
Tell us a time when a perceived failure was actually a blessing in disguise or served you in a surprising way.
Prior to running Fashion & Compassion, I was the Executive Director of another non-profit that Fashion & Compassion launched out of. The parent organization of this non-profit made an executive decision to change the structure of the non-profit that significantly impacted the programs and brand I had built. I loved running this organization but God made it clear that I should take the women's empowerment work I was doing under this non-profit and launch it as it's own ministry... Fashion & Compassion.
What is your favorite vice/guilty pleasure/strange habit? Come on now, we all have them!
I love Diet Coke and chocolate chip cookies... TOO much!
What's the smartest investment you’ve made for yourself?
The smartest investment I have made for myself is staying physically fit. I run, practice yoga a few times a week in addition to strength training. I've also started taking dancing lessons in the past year. Exercising makes me feel stronger both physically and mentally. It allows me to relieve stress because of the physical exertion as well as mental concentration some activities require.
What’s MOST important to you right now?
Spending time with my boys who are in high school - particularly my son, Ben, who is a senior in high school. When my twin daughters went to college last year I realized how quickly time passes and I want to enjoy the time with him before he leaves for college.
Share 1-2 books you've given as gifts:
I recently gave The Soul of Money by Lynn Twist as a gift to my mom
What have you learned to say no to?
I've learned to say "no" to being liked by everyone. I am a people-pleaser and one of my highest strength-finder traits is "harmony". As a leader, I sometimes have to make unpopular decisions that others may not understand or support because they don't have the whole picture. So, while I don't necessarily like it, I've learned that it not possible for me to be liked by everyone and do the best work that God has called me to and His work is the priority, not my popularity.
What's something most people would never guess about you?
Most people wouldn't guess that I am a huge Michael Jackson fan!
A Risk Taker Dream Maker that's inspired you?
Nadya Dickson – Managing Partner, The Masters Program for Women
Karen Kovach – Executive Director of Changed Choices
Tamara Park – Tamarapark.com – author, videographer/producer, social entrepreneur
Allison Shigo – Executive Director of Healing Hands of Joy
Follow Michele:
Instagram: @micheledudley, @fashionandcompassion
Facebook: Michele Dudley, FashionNCompassion
